I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
