I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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