I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
