Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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