it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
