What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
