Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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