sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
