he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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