You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
