you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
