why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
