Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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