There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
