Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
