i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
