i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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