worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
