So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
