i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
