i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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