and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
