I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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