Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wanna go halves on a baby?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
