It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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