You really coming over, don't trick.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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