Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
