he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
