I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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