i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
