why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
