I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
