Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize