doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
