so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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