Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
