Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
