oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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