What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Drake has all the answers
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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