there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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