she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you win again, gameday.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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