Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
