Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
