Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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