I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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