I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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