she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
