i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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