Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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