Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
