i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
