Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
